2014.05.06 – 63 – The Top 8 Easter Eggs

Random Stories



Last year, we started a new tradition where we decorated plastic eggs instead of real ones. Because dyes wouldn’t work particularly well, we pulled out magazines, cut out pictures, and taped them on.

It started out pretty wholesome, but degraded into eggs sporting pictures of models with no souls, Taylor Swift, animal anuses, etc… If you’d like to see those creations, check out last year’s post.

It was so much fun that, this year, we decided to bring back the tradition. And this time, we didn’t start off with anything wholesome. It began right in the muck and this year’s eggs were amazing. Also, we had a guest decorator helping us. Law, my awesome friend from Dallas, visited and jumped right into the mix, cutting out pictures from Glamour magazine to tape onto his eggs.

Now that it’s all over and we’ve shared our eggs with each other, I wanted to share the winners with you. So, without further ado, here are:

The Top 8 Easter Eggs of 2014


8 – The Easter Camel


The Story
OK there’s not much of a story behind this one. Some of our eggs were purely random, based on what we could find in our magazines.

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Back


7 – Gingers Have No Souls

The Story
As South Park has confirmed, Gingers have no souls. This egg proves it.

Front

Back (this says “GIVE ME YOUR SOUL”)


6 – Walk it, Girl!

The Story
This egg is a total inside joke. Last summer, we helped some nuns from Omaha run a camp near Page. One of the nuns was awesome, and whenever she did something really cool, I’d say “Work it, girl!” Yep that’s pretty queeny but she really enjoyed it. Fast forward five months. When we went to Omaha for Windy’s surgeries, we spent some time with the nuns. When we saw the “awesome” nun, she’d adopted my catchphrase. Except she kept saying “Walk it, girl!” with all the attitude of Ru Paul. This egg is for her.

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5 – Obituary Egg

The Story
I was flipping through a newspaper, desperate for ideas, when I came across the obituary section… ‘nuf said.

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Back


4 – Dog Hair

The Story
Harper, the German Shepherd, sheds like crazy when the weather gets warmer. It’s insane. Seriously, you can brush him for an hour, filling an entire back. Then, when you go to pet him, you’ll still end up with a fist full of fur. Windy decided to put some of that fur to good use.



3 – Chris’s New TV

The Story
The TV in our living room is a 27-inch tube model. Seriously. It’s the one Windy’s had since college. Chris wants a new flat-screen so bad it’s scary. Law made this egg for him. It was mean but funny.

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2 – My First Kiss

The Story
OK I guess I have to spill this story. When I was a tween, I desperately wanted to practice kissing. That way, if it somehow happened, I’d already be an expert. However, there wasn’t anything good to practice with. I mean, Star Wars figures are so tiny and unrealistic, and Transformers hurt. Enter the Pound Puppies. Remember them? Welllll, we had some stuffed animals and their tongues stuck out. Perfect. So, ummmm yeah, that’s what I practiced kissing on, and Windy made this egg for me. NO JUDGING! I was a really boneheaded kid.

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1 – We’re Going to Disneyland

The Story
Has anyone seen that viral video of the little girl who’s unimpressed about going to Disney? This egg is for her.

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About the Author: Cody Wagner

Cody Wagner

Cody is an aspiring author and creator of Wagner Writer. His first novel, A Gay Teen's Guide to Defeating a Siren, was released in 2015. He has a penchant for making weird videos and writing even weirder stories. But not all. Some of his stuff is perfectly normal. He promises.

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