Wagner Writer


I’m heading back home to Pampa in the morning.


It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve been home so I’m a bit nervous. I’m excited to see my brother and stuff. But the town always makes me antsy for some reason. I had a certain stigma in Pampa and I’m worried people there still see that. Stuff like that engrains itself in little towns for years. Local businesses can’t survive for squat but reputations live through nuclear explosions.

Hopefully, I’ll have some good stories to share when I get back. My brother is getting his black belt in Kenpo (SWEET!) so that should be really fun to watch. He has to spar for like eighty hours and do fourteen thousand push-ups. That might be a slight exaggeration. Either way, the test doesn’t sound easy.

Anyway, because I’m traveling, I won’t have any posts until next week. Therefore, I wanted to share something real quick tonight. Because I just got back from a writers group meeting, the first thing that pops into my head are funny things that happen in those meetings.

So I think I’ll share another list of favorite moments from writers groups:

1. There’s a woman in the Wednesday group named Sharkie. Yes, Sharkie. OK, it’s a nickname, but it’s all she uses; I don’t even know her real name. She always introduces herself as Sharkie. Anyway, she’s really fun, so I’ve marked her as one of my favorite members. The other night, I was telling this to Windy. As expected, Windy said, “Wait what’s her name again?” I said, “Yes, you heard that right, it’s Sharkie.” Windy squinted at me and what she said next was very much UNexpected: “Ohhhh so it’s with a ‘k’ and not a ‘t’?”

…. So, um… yeah, Windy thought her name was Sharty.

2. Apparently, I’m starting to get the nickname, “Guy who wears the tank tops.” I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’ve been observing and I’m seriously the ONLY guy who’s worn one in weeks. Tank tops are cool! Don’t people see that? If you take a picture with them just the right way, you look naked! What’s better than that? Nothing, that’s when!

3. There’s a guy who’s missed two weeks in a row, each with a stomach virus. I feel so bad for him. That means he’s had like two straight weeks of diarrhea. It wasn’t Sharty.

4. There’s a girl in the group who’s pretty awesome. Her feedback is solid and her stories are really interesting. So what’s the deal?

She says, “Supposably.” All.The.Time.

It’s pretty amazing. Especially when she uses it while giving feedback (“You use a lot of adverbs. Supposably that’s frowned upon.”)

Every time I hear it, I can’t help but replay that scene from Friends in my head:

JOEY: Supposably….Supposably…Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.

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