Wagner Writer

A couple months ago, I wrote a post listing 6 weird SkyMall items. Welllll, after going through the magazine again, I found some “perfect” holiday gift ideas for the whole family. Enjoy!

1. Bouncy Ball (for adults)

I’m not gonna lie, I would so take one of these for a spin through Wal-Mart. This is hilarious because:

A. The horse is so fat, his legs don’t reach the ground. I’m picturing the poor guy trying to run on his own. Fun image!

B. The guy is wearing a costume.

C. That’s seriously Nick Jonas.

2. Bouncy Ball (for kids)

There are soooooo many things wrong with this picture. I don’t know what the heck this kid is grabbing, but he’s having waaaay too much fun.

3. Extreme Balance Adventures

This product cracks me up for two reasons:

First, I’ve never really considered balancing to be an “adventure”. OK, maybe after a few drinks (if you know what I’m sayin’). But (hopefully!) that doesn’t apply to these little kids. (SIDE NOTE: I suddenly find myself wanting to buy this as a drinking game.)

Second, the term “Extreme” is very, very, very subjective. Seriously, the balance beam is two inches off the ground. Lose your balance and you may have to step down slightly.

4. Manually Heated Hot Tub

So you basically start a fire in some metal tubes, the heat passes through the tubing, and the water is heated. This is the highest maintenance hot tub ever! Don’t date it! Also, I’m 6’3″ and, from the look of it, I might be a little cramped. My feet would be dangling off in the flames.

5. Pierogi Christmas Ornament

Yep, this is an ornament of a piece of pasta. I love me some pierogi, but don’t think I’d be throwing them on a Christmas tree. To make it even weirder, a pierogi isn’t even an interesting shape. It’s basically a blob.

My favorite part, though, is the description saying, “Sure to become a family heirloom.” That family makes me sad.

6. Shark Boat!

OMG!! So it’s a real boat that jumps out of the water! Cue the Jaws theme.

Also, might I direct you to the price tag. You may not be able to see it, but this boat is $85,000. I’ll take 3.

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