To some backwoods people, The Gay Teen’s Guide to Defeating a Siren (Book 2) has flown under the radar. At weddings, proms, and Mitzvahs both Bar and Bat, people have even asked, “Who are you, bro?”
Well, I’d like to make a statement to all the Brolafs and Brohans out there: Y’all may not be aware, but book 2 is kinda a big deal. In fact, I’ve got quite a few celebrity endorsements out there. And today, for my birthday, I’d like to share them with you:
Rocket Raccoon may not be gay, but he supports his LGBTQ brethren, especially the big bluish guy who pretty much comes out after admiring Thor’s body in the new movie, Avenging: The Infinity Glove.
When Will Smith’s son, Jaden, isn’t doing creepily uncomfortable splits in Karate Kid, he’s making appearances at the most prestigious events. And in addition to a weird coat that was obviously designed by Woody Versace from Toy Story, he likes to carry around a certain book.
Yodeling Wal-Mart Kid
You may not know this, but these are the words that yodeling kid at Wal-Mart actually sings: “Yoooo de lay heeeeeee! I’m Wal-Mart Kid – a lay heeeee! I’ve got a book under my arm – a lay hee heeeee! It’s not Nancy Drew -heee heee a layyyyyy! It’s not as good as Nancy, but it’s still alright – a lay a lay a lay heeeeee!”
It’s never to early too support your favorite LGBTQ cause. Whether you’re a high schooler dealing with coming out, or even pretty much a fetus, you can step up. Here, Boss Baby is pointing to his favorite novel at a very important presentation.
Yeah, Deadpool is great and all, but he’s nothing compared to the next endorsement…
Bob Ross Deadpool!
It’s only a rumor, but I hear Bob Ross Deadpool calms himself by painting a certain cover over and over. Years ago, Georgia O’Keeffe painted a certain landscape, saying that God promised to give it to her if she painted it enough times. I’m not saying that’s why Bob Ross Deadpool keeps painting my cover, but he *did* say, “God told me he’d give me this book if I paint it enough times.”
The Jurassic World T-Rex
Now this one is truly an honor. Just imagine how hard it is for a poor t-rex to open a book and turn the pages. Despite the trouble, our friend here insisted on the paperback version. He also insisted on reading it aloud to me. It was fun. And loud.
The Golden Girls
Thank you for being a friend, indeed. I can’t say why Dorothy is trying to turn the pages of my novel with a remote control. But I *can* say that a certain book helped repair the rift between Bea Arthur and Betty White. It wasn’t mine, but whatever.