Wagner Writer

So disgusted with his experience watching new movie The Disappointments Room, local movie-goer Cody Wagner took the opportunity to practice his many disappointed faces.

The Disappointments Room, a horror movie starring Kate Beckinsale, is about a city woman whose husband takes her to live at a lonely country mansion after experiencing a traumatic experience. The summary alone, which Wagner read before the movie, was enough to spawn his first disappointed face:

The Disappointments Room

“Seriously!?” Wagner said before walking into the theater. “The summary might as well be ‘The Disappointments Room, a horror movie starring cliche, is about a cliche whose cliche takes her to live at a cliche after experiencing a cliche.'”

Things didn’t get any better once the movie started. Five minutes in, and Cody had already practiced another disappointed face. It occurred when the film opened with the family driving to the mansion as the husband convinces his wife she won’t regret their move:

The Disappointments Room

Four minutes later, Kate Beckinsale walked into a creepy room. Wagner immediately said, “That door better not slam shut behind her.” Eight seconds later, the door closed, spawning this disappointed face:

The Disappointments Room

Another set of disappointed faces came from the movie’s clever use of horror tropes entirely by accident.

“Kate visits the local paranormal expert slash weirdo,” Wagner said. “And she turns out to be a midget with a high voice. At first I thought it was amazing. But there’s no sly wink-wink at Poltergeist. She never actually does anything! She just scares Kate’s son so he runs away so she and Kate can talk. It’s like the director completely forgot about a horror classic and instead thought, ‘Midgets scare kids, right?'”

The Disappointments Room

While the unintentional tropes resulted in eight faces, the most intense disappointed poses came from one of the films many plot holes.

An hour in, Wagner hissed, “Kate is the only person who’s supposed to see the ghosts. Yet this scene has her son looking at one. And Kate isn’t even around to imagine it!?” Such was his disappointment, Wagner included the use of his body in this picture:

The Disappointments Room

While Wagner’s practice came purely out of frustration, his faces did provide a distraction for other patrons also disappointed with the movie.

“When Kate did that insane drunk scene where she was clearly trying for an Oscar nod,” says Justin Mendell, “I found relief in Cody’s disappointed faces. In fact, instead of the movie, I started watching him.” After looking at the screen for a second and shuddering, Mendell added, “It’s the only reason I’m not asking for my money back.”

Next up, Wagner plans to practice his sad faces while watching The Crying Game.


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