Today is Thanksgiving, a time to take a step back and appreciate everything we have. At first, I was having a hard time feeling thankful. I know Kermit and Freddy Krueger endorsed my book. But that just wasn’t enough to get me in the holiday spirit. I mean, converting Kim Jong Un to a pro gay activist was nice, but he’s no Kim Davis.
Fortunately, a handful of new “celebrities” just came forward and proclaimed their love of The Gay Teen’s Guide to Defeating a Siren. Now I feel the gratitude flowing through me!
5 More “Celebrities” Who “Endorsed” My Book
The Pilgrims and Native Americans
It’s Thanksgiving, so let’s start off with those people who made this holiday a reality. I felt incredibly blessed that, instead of reaching for bread or corn or fruits, these hungry people grabbed my book. What an honor!
The Kid from The Nightmare Before Christmas
I know it’s no severed head in a box, but my book comes in a close second.
The “I Like Turtles” Kid
After all this time, I didn’t thinks the “I Like Turtles” kid actually liked anything else. And I was all like, “Dude, find some other hobbies.” Well, it finally looks like he has. And I think he made a good choice.
Voldemort
I’m not sure how I feel about this one. Sure, I’m thrilled the greatest evil wizard of all time likes my book. But notice how longingly he’s gazing at it. I know exactly what he’s thinking and it scares me: “I’m going to turn this book into a Horcrux.” Shiver!
Kim Davis
My Thanksgiving wish came true! The mega bigot has renounced her awful ways and seen the light. I still think she looks kind of creepy though. No one should be that freakishly happy holding a book. I didn’t even look like that when I held it myself.
(SIDE NOTE: In last week’s post, the most awful person was Kim Jong Un. This week, it’s Kim Davis (yes, she’s more evil than Voldemort). I guess the moral of the story is don’t ever name your child Kim because he/she will become a horrible human being.)