Wagner Writer

The recent string of lottery winning McDonald employees abandoning their jobs has continued. Phoenix resident – and McDonald’s grill cook – Cody Schmagner quit his job last week after winning a free Medium Fries from the Monopoly game.

Cody with ticket

“I was having a really awful day,” Schmagner said, fanning himself with the winning coupon. “I learned we were serving breakfast all day. And I freaking hate making eggs.”

According to sources, Schmagner’s frustration with egg-making let to his seizing a large cup from the stack.

While interviewed, fellow employee Windy Fadley said, “He was all like, ‘If they can make me fix eggs, I can make me a free drink.'” She paused to look longingly at Schmagner’s winning sticker before adding, “Damn, I’m hungry.”

“I was planning on just getting a drink,” Schmagner continued, “when I decided to peel off the Monopoly sticker and drop it on the floor. Mallvarez hates that.”

Lawrence Mallvarez was Shmagner’s boss at the time. According to employees, he’s OCD because he hates trash on the floor.

“So I peel the sticker,” Schmagner said, “and just before I let go, I look at it. Best thing I ever did.”

Apparently, several employees noticed the sticker right after Schmagner peeled it. “I saw what it said from the corner of my eye,” Fadley said, “and my mouth dropped. I mean, only like twenty people a day win those things.”

“Bam! Free fries!” Schmagner said, slapping the sticker down on a table.

After realizing he’d won, Schmagner wasted no time in claiming his freedom.

“Cody came up to me before his shift even ended.” Mallvarez said. “He waved the sticker around saying, ‘I don’t need your money anymore.’ Well, I think it was the sticker. Those things are pretty small.”

When asked to comment, Schmagner said, “Yeah I said it. And I told him to f*** off. Why waste my life at McDonald’s when I got greasy potato rectangles waiting for me. I’m ready for the easy life.”

Schmagner plans to take his medium fries home, eat them on the couch, and play Crash Bandicoot on his original PlayStation. “Maybe I can afford a PS2 after this,” Schmagner said.

After hearing about Schmagner’s plans, Mallvarez said, “I wonder if we should tell him he’s not eligible to win.”

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