Wagner Writer

My sister and brother-in-law have two dogs, Molly and Harper. They are about the same size (medium) and the same age as well.

Since we moved to Phoenix, Molly has put on some weight.

How much weight? Let me illustrate:

Fat Molly – Example 1

The other night, Chris (my brother-in-law) let the dogs out for pee time. To prevent bugs from flying in, he left the door open as wide as Harper’s body.

When Harper finished, he came running back, no problem.

Then it was Molly’s turn. She ran for the door and… wham!

Her neck fat got stuck in the door.

Harper turned and gave her a side eye. We laughed. Unfortunately, Molly was right there listening.

Fat Molly – Example 2

A couple weeks ago, we had spaghetti for dinner. Normally, we don’t feed the dogs human food. But every once in a while, Windy (my sister) will give them a single spaghetti noodle. When this happens, the dogs go CRAZY. They love getting treats and will run all over the place for one.

Until now.

Windy scooped out a noodle and went to Molly, who was laying on the floor. When Windy held out the noodle, Molly’s eyes got wide, but she didn’t move. Windy even held the noodle right over the dog’s head, but she didn’t try to grab it.

Finally, Windy put the noodle on the ground right next to Molly’s face. Without moving, Molly stuck out her tongue and lapped it up.

I’m not gonna lie, we laughed pretty damn hard. Unfortunately, Molly was right there listening.

Fat Molly – Example 3

Chris recently posted a pic of the dogs sleeping in his bedroom. In the Facebook post, he mentioned the dogs being terrible workout partners. From out of nowhere, several people commented on how fat Molly had gotten:

Fat Shaming Dogs

Now we’d taken “Fat Molly” public. Unfortunately, she was right there listening.

The Aftermath

Since all this happened, Molly has been laying around more than ever. At first, I thought she was acting so lazy because of her weight.

Now, I’m not so sure.

If you look at pics of fat dogs around the Internet, notice one thing:

Fat Dog

Fat Dog

They’re usually laying down and/or asleep.

You know what else causes lots of lounging and sleeping?

That’s right, depression!


We have to stop fat shaming our dogs. When they hear our derisive laughter, they know exactly what’s happening. I mean, they have access to “Modern Dog” and “Dog Fancy” magazines that show what “beautiful” dogs are supposed to look like. These magazines have set unrealistic expectations for our dogs and it has to stop.

Our comments have cut Molly to her core. Especially after they went public.

Don’t believe me? Here’s my evidence showing why dog fat shaming has to stop:

1. Molly won’t look me in the eye


Fat Dog

And when I went around to force her to acknowledge me, she tried running away.

(Unfortunately, because of her size, she couldn’t get up, tried running along the wall, and didn’t actually go anywhere:)

Fat Dog Wall Running

2. She’s more self conscious in public

When we take the dogs out for a walk, Harper runs all over the place. He sniffs everything and tries to catch all the lizards in existence.

Molly’s story is different. When we take her, she doesn’t want to stay out as long. She pretends to be tired so that we have to bring her home.

Molly may act nonchalant but I know exactly what’s happening: she’s picturing everyone peeking thru their blinds at her. Probably holding copies of Dog Fancy and shaking their fists.

It gets so bad, she’ll even pretend it’s hot outside to hide under bushes “in the shade”.

I know what shade she’s really hiding from… the shade mean people are throwing at her!

3. Even “skinny” dogs are affected

Harper is definitely caught up in the wave of Molly’s fat shaming. How do I know this?

Well, since Molly started gaining weight, Harper has lost weight.

Coincidence? I think not.

He may be partially blind, but that doesn’t stop him from seeing the embarrassment Molly is suffering. Consequently, he must be so anxious, he’s not hungry anymore.

He’s gotten really good at hiding it, too. His bowl – that sits right next to Molly’s – happens to be empty. But he’s not eating and I know it. So what happens to the food? Obviously, Harper is hiding it somewhere so that we think he’s eating OK. But he’s not OK. He’s hurting for his sister.

His fat fat sister.

…You know what? I’m having second thoughts about this. A friend just told me her fat dog once broke into their pantry, tore open a strawberry Slim Fast, and drank the whole thing. Now THAT’S taking matters into your own hands. THAT’S being a go getter. THAT’S grabbing a bull by the horns.

Now I’m kind of upset with Molly. If she were really that depressed about all her rolls, she could do the same thing. She could do wide grip pull-ups with me while I’m working out. She could do burpees. But she’s not. She’s not taking any of her own initiative. And for that I wonder if she’s just making her own (king size) bed and lying in it.


  • Jack
    January 22, 2017 - 7:32 pm · Reply

    This really isn’t funny – – – it’s actually ANIMAL ABUSE!!!
    You should never feed an animal ‘people food’ and never leave the bowl down so they can free-feed. Carrying extra weight will cause damage to their bones & joints & puts extreme pressure on their heart! In Short, you are causing the animal to die prematurely by allowing it to get this heavy. Please re-think your goal here & use your creativity for something else. And please take those dogs to the Vet for a physical examination – they will tell you the same thing. If you don’t believe me – maybe you’ll believe them.

  • Jaiden
    January 15, 2021 - 7:46 am · Reply

    My girlfriend, wife to be, can be considered crazy cat and dog lovers and we do in fact consider them our family because to us they are. Good for everyone who has children and those with children who feel superior. Neither I nor her want children or the time or cost it takes to raise them, and we certainly aren’t selfish enough to have them so that “someone can take care of us when we’re old”. We like kids, we just don’t want them. Even if we did want them, neither of us would want to raise children in a climate of society that is becoming more morally bankrupt, confused, and violent. There’s nothing lacking about that, that’s rational. If people want to spend their money to save the humanity of the world I’m ok with that. If I want to spend mine on dogs and cats I’m even more ok with it. I enjoy my own company, I like spending time by myself, as my girlfriend does, we’re both independent, that’s strength not weakness or weirdness. Our cats and dogs and the time we share with them makes life that much better and is satisfying and enough. That’s family to me and to us, and no one could ever tell any of us different. Don’t like it that’s your problem. As for animals not having souls, people are animals too, you need air, eat, sht, bleed, and die just as animals do. What is a soul anyhow? Being self aware, having thoughts, emotions, knowing love? Animals know all these as much as people do, just in different ways, but it takes a forward thinking mind to understand that. How petty and convenient to think that real life starts and stops with your own species.

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